$20,000.  $9,999.  $7,999.  $5,623.  These are prices paid for UD Fleer Retro Precious Metal Gems Blue Michael Jordan cards on eBay.

YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY!  Give money to charity.  Please, this is insanity.  These cards have no intrinsic value.  They aren’t old, but well preserved, cards.  They don’t have a rare autograph on them.  They don’t even have part of a jersey that a famous person wore.  They are cards that were printed in limited supply specifically for the purpose of eliciting this reaction from the too-rich collector.  Do I think that it’s nice that cards, which are simply cards and not vehicles for jerseys or autographs, are generating big excitement.  Of course.  But this is too much.  They aren’t even 1/1’s.  There are 50 of these.  I repeat: 50.

Context:  Andy Warhol is a famous American painter.  One of the most famous.  He creates works of art.  This work of art is limited to 20 copies, 30 less than that Michael Jordan card, and sold for $15,500.  It is also signed by Andy.

That Jordan card is not a work of art, but rather a rehash of an ugly, but rare, card from the nineties.  Nor is it signed by Jordan.

Rich collectors, please stop.  There are needy kids out there, help them.

BTW, I really wish I could afford a box of Fleer Retro.  It looks super cool.  Other than those hideous Precious Metal Gems.

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Letterpress baseball cards, postcard-size.

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